Questions to ask about who is facilitating your mums group

This blog post may be a confrontational, but this one needs to be said.

As society becomes more aware of the needs of new mums, we are seeing more support options offered. Sometimes this support can be in the form of mothers groups, fourth trimester groups or in home assistance. Targeted support is important but, with no requirements or experience needed to run these groups, I encourage new mum’s to step back and ask what qualifications does the person have who is running the group?

You might ask why is this important?

In Australia we have 1 in 3 women describing their birth as traumatic and 1 in 10 reporting obstetric violence during birth. Haphazardly talking about birth stories in a fourth trimester group can be extremely triggering and traumatic. If it isn’t being facilitated by someone who is trained and understands these challenges, we can re-traumatise mums who have come along seeking connection and friends.

I believe that anyone facilitating a fourth trimester or mums group must look after the mums that turn up each week. It is a core responsibility to be able to refer on mums who are experiencing distress and to know how support a mum who shares their account of a distressing birth.

So when you are deciding on your mums group, find out if they have a FREE trial. That way you can see if it is the right one for you. If they don’t offer a FREE trial ask the following questions;

💖 Who is facilitating the group?

💖 Who is presenting at each session?

💖 What experience do they have in the fourth trimester? (you want more then solely their own lived experience)

💖 What relevant qualifications do they hold?

As a Certified Postpartum Doula, Certified Lamaze Childbirth Educator and Babywearing Educator who also has a Bachelor in Health Education, I pride myself on ensuring that the information that I give my parents who attend my Mums n Bubs sessions at the YMCA, is evidence based and I also refer on to other professionals when needed. I also won’t schedule to talk as a group about your birth story, unless a mum wants to share this.

So please when picking a mums group, ask the important questions and ensure the person who is facilitating the group has the qualifications to do so.

If you are looking for recommendations on mums groups in the Ipswich and Springfield check out my blog here and if you want to know how to find the best mums group, read my other blog post on how finding a mums group is like speed dating.

Speed Dating for Mums: How to Find Your Perfect Playgroup

How many times have you heard, “I made the bestest of friends at mums group or playgroup. They became my village and tribe?”

While that’s been my experience (shout out to the ladies in Mackay and my bestie!), it’s not the case for everyone. Not every mum clicks with their first mums group or playgroup. This is where the speed dating analogy comes in: just like in speed dating, if you don’t feel a connection, you move on (and the bell usually helps too!). The same goes for playgroups.

Just because the other mums have babies around the same age doesn’t mean you’ll instantly become best friends. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to walk away and try another group.

I get it—it’s tough. You’ve dragged yourself out of the house, possibly after a sleepless night, changed a terrible nappy, repacked the nappy bag, and then, you arrive at a group that just doesn’t vibe with you. You’re allowed to feel frustrated and cry.

But the best thing you can do is try again. Find a new group, a new space, and see how that feels. Don’t feel pressured to return to a group that doesn’t serve you. Everyone’s journey is different, so don’t worry if your experience isn’t the same as someone else’s. Find what makes you happy.

Here are some places where you can find local mums groups:

⭐️ Playmatters 

⭐️ Australian Breastfeeding Association

⭐️ Kangatraining

⭐️ Local primary schools and Churches

⭐️ Mainly Music

⭐️ Libraries - have great nursery rhyme and under five programs that are free

⭐️ Area health services usually have new parents programs that you can join

⭐️ Other small businesses in the community.

Sometimes it just takes a little asking—whether through friends, local parenting pages, or even a doula who can suggest activities as part of their service. Like speed dating, it might take a few tries before you find your connection.

If you’re struggling to find your tribe, know you’re not alone! And if you're local to Ipswich and Springfield, check out my blog on small businesses supporting mums in finding their village.